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On a cold winter night in New York City, in 1993, my best friend, Mary Beth who was pregnant at the time asked me if I would be with her when she had her baby. My third child was born a few months before, and our older kids were best buddies. We had toddlers together, had been pregnant together, and our husbands played in the same band. I was glowing... Of course I would be there, how wonderful. The mere thought of welcoming a baby into this world and supporting Mary Beth was so exciting. I felt so privileged and honored that she trusted me enough to embark on such an amazing journey with her.
All three of my babies were born in a hospital. I managed labor three times with no epidural, and had myriad interventions, from induction to constant monitoring, from episiotomy to internal fetal monitors and from artificial rupture of membranes to having an x-ray done while in transition. And through it all I had my doula... my husband and partner. He supported me, hugged me and held me; through kind words of encouragement, he brought me back from places, I didn't know existed. I searched his eyes for guidance and calm, and found strength in his words at a time when I thought I couldn't make it through one more contraction.
I knew first hand the value of labor support, and was intent on helping Mary Beth and Shannon (her husband) achieve the goals they had for the birth of their baby. In the weeks preceding the birth, we discussed my role during the delivery, and what their wishes were for the birth. She went into labor in March, a few days before her due date, and called me around midnight.
Her contractions were strong, and she felt they should go to the hospital because her first baby came quite fast. She was having the baby at St Vincent's Hospital, in their birthing center with a midwife. When I got there, she was already admitted. This was very different from my birth experiences because the room was dark, quiet and serene. Mary Beth's eyes were closed and through her labor, we hardly spoke at all. I rubbed her back, breathed with her, whispered encouraging words in her ear and applied ice cold compresses to her forehead. Her baby was born calmly, quietly and peacefully. I was floating, we were laughing, crying, and hugging . The experience we shared remains unforgettable, and our friendship extends beyond what we ever imagined. Sixteen years later as we sit together and reminisce we look at our beautiful children, and remember that special night.
Years later, in 2000 I became certified as a labor support doula and postpartum doula, and just a month ago, in January 2009, became a certified childbirth educator. I am passionate about the work that I do. I am an advocate for couples in labor, and support their choices for childbirth. I support them unconditionally, and believe that each birth is unique. I thank women and their partners from the bottom of my heart as they give me the privilege of attending the birth of their baby. They bring me into their lives at a time that is very personal, intimate, and life changing. I learn with each birth, and each birth helps me become a better doula.
