Before having their own babies, many moms imagine staying at home with their newborns to be a relatively easy gig. The imaginary mothering scenario goes something like this:
1. Nurse baby.
2. Baby falls asleep.
3. Put baby in bassinet.
4. Have a couple hours of time to sleep/make dinner/work from home/email/etc.
Many moms instead find the first few months after giving birth to be anything but easy. The realistic mothering scenario can often go like this:
1. Nurse baby
2. Baby falls asleep
3. Put baby in bassinet
4. Baby wakes up crying.
5. Nurse baby again
6. Baby falls asleep
7. Baby wakes up crying.
Repeat from step one and then add in step 4b: "Mom joins baby in crying"
As a postpartum doula, I’ve seen this scene time and again. As the hours, days, weeks, drag on mom’s exhaustion escalates creating for a rough postpartum experience.
There are some times when the baby’s crying is caused by a larger problem ranging from colic to gas bubbles to rash. But most of the time when I am with a mom on the verge of tears, I am able to help her solve the problem by a few pretty simple techniques that which recreate the womb environment. We must remember that newborns are called newborns for a reason; they are newly born and used to being inside warm, calm, bouncy tight-quarters (aka “the womb”). Recreating this familiar environment for an infant can be most comforting.
A snug swaddle can work wonders with a fussy infant. Be sure that Baby is in a clean diaper, is not over or under dressed (sometimes in hot CA days, a baby may benefit from being almost naked under the swaddle), and then swaddling the little one in a proper-and I repeat, PROPER- swaddle. A swaddle is not just a quick burrito wrap in a blanket. Many moms think they are swaddling but in fact are wrapping the blanket just tight enough to annoy the baby and create a sort of tactile over-stimulation, which is exactly opposite of what a good swaddle should do.
Here’s a helpful video of a dad (I find dad’s are usually pretty awesome at swaddling once they learn technique) swaddling a 5 day old…and don’t get me started on how deliciously gorgeous the baby model is in this video. A. DOR.A. BLE. In the video, the dad mentioned “The Happiest Baby On The Block”. Personally, I’m a fan of most aspects of this program and use it often while working with new parents.
Most of the time babes are not crazy about the swaddling process so I tell parents to take a deep breath right before doing it, to continue talking to their baby, explaining what they are doing, “Mommy is just making you all cozy in this swaddle, it’s just going to be a little longer and then we can cuddle again…”and NOT rushing through the process. If swaddling is a new skill, this is especially important to remember. While it may seem that you need to move fast to get through the steps faster, this usually results in a sloppy swaddle and in the end is much more frustrating.
Once baby is swaddled, bouncing is helpful. To do this easily, parents can hold baby while sitting and bouncing on an exercise ball or jauntily walking. Bouncing is often much more effective than rocking.
Keep in mind that it usually takes time for an infant to fall asleep. Most babies need at least twenty minutes of comforting and lulling before they are in a deep sleep. This can seem like forever to an exhausted parent, but hang in there. Once Baby is no longer twitching, and their eyes have stopped fluttering, they are in a deep state of sleep and can usually manage to be put down for a snooze…parents should follow suit if at all possible.
For more information on how to perfect the swaddle as well as other baby-calming techniques, check out The Happiest Baby on the Block program. If you are interested in a Happiest Baby class or consult, contact Mandy Schutt.
